


Thelma and Louise

by CLADD



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamory, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 21:47:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16146197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CLADD/pseuds/CLADD
Summary: All Negan wanted was an easy run in and out of the untouched superstore, hoping to fill the Saviors trucks with  desperately needed food and goods to take back to his community. He didn't expect to be shanghaied by two intriguing women and their annoying as fu** redneck side kick. After the big boss and his lieutenants compromise the safety of the trio's home, he offers them shelter at the factory, only to find his world turned upside down by the quirky threesome.





	Thelma and Louise

Yo no soy pendejo, compadre- I’m not an asshole, friend.  
Jefe - person in charge, boss

______________

 _“What the fuck was that?”_ Negan murmured as he and his crew walked quietly on the balls of their feet down the toy aisle in the Walmart, after seeing something whip by the end of the aisle in front of them. Their guns were raised and Fat Joe was illuminating the way for his boss with an LED headlamp strapped to his forehead like a big fucking geek, the beam of light bobbing up and down as he moved. Skinny Joe and Arat were bringing up the rear, covering the two front men, watching behind them as they made their way down the aisle toward the back of the store.

The plan, when the Saviors had arrived, was for the twenty people to separate into four groups. Each group would hit their assigned section of the store, collect their list of goods, and then make their way back to their four trucks outside. The leader and his group were headed for the pharmacy and health care section, because Negan wanted first dibs on any and all condoms and lube he could lay his hands on. Keno and the Crazy Eight were headed to the grocery aisles, Little Timmy and a couple of his Dick Brigade were headed to sporting goods. Negan sent Regina and the women of her Pussy Posse to clothing and shoes, which Regina though was sexist bullshit, but she wouldn’t dare say so to her boss.

A few days before, Skinny and Fat Joe had reported to the leader of the Sanctuary they’d sighted a pristine looking Walmart after they’d completed a scouting mission outside of Stafford, Virginia. A barricade in front of the store was effectively keeping out trespassers and roamers. The question was whether there were people inside.

The store sat on a hill, Fat had informed his boss after studying maps of the local topography, and its backyard was a cliff, overlooking an old quarry. There was no way for roamers or humans to get to the store from the back of the property, and the access road and grounds leading to the parking lot had been blocked with tractor trailers. They stretched across the entire width of the front of the property, parked end to end. There were all sorts of large objects filling the space below the trailers and in between, from pallets to barbed fencing, to dumpsters, keeping dead ones or humans from gaining access to the property. Whoever had put together the barrier had done a damn good job, but they hadn’t counted on the Saviors’ RPG, which easily blasted through two of the weak spots in the blockade.

“I don’t know,” Fat murmured out of the corner of his mouth at his boss, perplexed as he stared at the end of the aisle. “Did you see it?” he whispered over his shoulder to Skinny, the beam of his headlamp following his eyes behind him, landing on his friend.

Negan gave the man his best ‘shut the fuck up’ glare, as he clamped his free hand down on the top of fat Joe's head and twisted his wrist, turning the man’s head back in the direction of the end of the aisle, where he needed the light. Arat huffed a silent, exasperated laugh at Fat Joe, shaking her head.

Negan and Arat froze, shifting their eyes back to the end of the aisle as the vision floated quickly by in the dark once more, like an apparition, accompanied by a familiar, repetitive sound the leader couldn't quite place. He cranked Fat’s head to follow its movement, trying to get a better look at the thing. It almost looked like the ghost of a woman, draped from head to toe in something long, sheer and white, its blonde hair flowing behind it as it floated by the end of the aisle.

It fucking floated by. _What the fuck?_

As the leader tried to process what he was seeing, all four Saviors cocked their ears towards the ceiling, listening to some quiet rustling which sounded like it was coming from the next aisle. Negan clicked his tongue twice, one of the Savior’s signals to see if his own people would respond in kind from one aisle over. There was an eerie moment of silence as they they stood, weapons raised, bodies and minds on high alert, waiting.

The soft, familiar sound from their childhood filled their ears again, drawing their attention not just to one end of the aisle but both. Negan forced Joe's beam of light back towards the end of the aisle in front of him with a yank of the man's head, while Arat and Skinny focused on the end of the aisle behind their group.

“Looks like y’all are in a heap a’ trouble!” a heavy southern accent drawled from above the group as a circle of rope suddenly dropped over Negan’s head, settling around his neck and cinching tightly before he had time to react. The sensation around the leader’s neck was not only of rope, but of barbs, piercing the sensitive skin as the noose was pulled from above, partially cutting off his airway. Always cool under pressure, Negan’s hand, still on Fat Joe’s head, turned and tilted it in the direction of the voice above him to illuminate its owner.

The Savior’s leader glared up at the man wearing a straw cowboy hat, as he crawled over the top of the shelves from the next aisle. Negan quickly honed in on the man’s head as the target for his  Barretta, only to find the man had a Glock pointed at his right eye. “What the shit? Did you just fucking lasso me?” the big boss croaked angrily as the noose tightened.

“Well now.” The man paused for five seconds before he continued,  “If we take the time to ponder the situation, I would say we'd come up with a yes, wouldn't you?” The man's accent was so thick, the word ‘time’ sounded more like ‘tahm’ and his version ‘yes’ had two syllables. To top it all off, he talked slow as fucking molasses.

All four pairs of the Saviors eyes bobbed from the top rack of the shelf, and back and forth between the figures at each end of the aisle. The female apparition stood on one end. She was short, with dark caramel skin and a Rubenesque figure, dressed in some sort of long, filmy white lingerie. Her blonde hair was long, obviously a wig, flowing over her shoulders and down her back. She had some strange fucking ponytail thing on the top of her head, hair spouting from it like water from a fountain. Negan couldn't help but notice Caramel Casper was sporting a pair of white leather, shin high roller skates, complete with a purple yarn pom pom which had a bell attached at the toe. _What in the name of fuck?_ She also sported an AR-15 which was aimed and ready to fire.

The leader’s gaze quickly shifted to the other end of the aisle, where her counterpart stood. Tall and lanky, with tits which looked equal to half her body weight, the fair skinned ginger at the other end of trouble sported cat eye glasses, bright red lipstick and a full length fur coat, complete with a very large and very gaudy rhinestone broach. Her black roller skates didn't have a pom pom, but were tied with neon orange laces. She also sported a large as fuck fire breathing weapon; Little Timmy’s RPG, still loaded and ready to fire. _Ahh, fuck!_ The redhead was definitely enjoying the power the flamethrower instilled, the attitude she was giving off almost equaling the damage the weapon could cause.

He was going to have to figure out how to talk his way out of this one. He couldn't fucking believe they’d missed signs of life when they’d done a precursory run through the store to look for trouble. They were usually spot-fucking-on with that shit. Negan wondered how many more sideshow freaks were hiding in the dark, and how many of his own people were injured or dead as he tried to quickly formulate a plan to get out of their current mess. _Fuck me._

____________

He was being walked on Billy Bob’s fucking barbed leash, hands tied behind his back, towards the front of the store, his Barretta tucked in the cowboy’s waistband. Negan could feel blood trickling down his neck, the barbs in the rope long enough to dig painfully into the skin and keep him in line but luckily, not long enough to do serious damage.

Cowboy was bouncing along behind him like he had fucking fire ants in his pants, literally hopping and jumping several inches off the ground with each step, similar to a boxer, forward and back, side to side. He could feel the movement in the rope around his neck, but Billy Bob had also bounced into his peripheral vision a few times, his curly blonde ponytail bouncing back out of the leader’s line of vision a half second after his body. Lucille, the barbed bat the big boss had lovingly named after his dead wife, was swinging along in the cowpoke’s hand with each bounce, pissing Negan the fuck off. _Must be fucking hyped up on drugs. It's the only possible explanation, which could be deadly for me and my teams._ The man was sort of humming as he fucking bounced, each note coming out like a melodic grunt. Today’s selection from the cowpoke juke box was _I Got Friends In Low Places_. Negan had no fucking doubt he did.

“I'm sorry,” he heard Casper commiserate with Arat behind him. “Are those too tight?” She sounded genuinely sorry the bindings on the lieutenant’s hands might be uncomfortable. Negan found this amusing, considering she had shoved her rifle in Fat Joe’s face and threatened to ‘blow his fucking head off’, only minutes before, when he tried to lunge for her gun in the Lego aisle.

“Sorry? You’re sorry her bindings are tight, but it was okay for you to shove your fucking gun in my man’s face and threaten to fucking kill him?” the leader quipped calmly, turning his head to eyeball her with a smirk, wanting to feel her out. She wouldn’t look him in the eye, her gaze immediately moving to someplace on the front of his black leather jacket as she fisted the fabric of her clothing at her side, causing Negan to chuckle to himself. Despite her harsh words to Fat Joe, her demeanor was anything but, and he suspected her tough bitch act was just that. An act. He needed to figure these three out in order to work out how to take them down, and he was already on to Casper. _One down, two to fucking go._

“Hey! You kiss yer momma with your nasty mouth?” Billy Bob was having none of the leader’s attitude, and yanked on his leash hard enough to tighten the noose, pulling Negan backwards as he bounced forward to yell in his ear. “I won’t have you disrespectin’ my women with yer foul palaver.”

 _Palaver? What the fuck is palaver?_ Negan was amused the man was worked up over the matter, bouncing more quickly around him from side to side.

“Chit chat, fucktard! Chatter!” Billy Bob answered the boss’s inquiring glare, bouncing higher toward the leader with each definition he spewed, smaller bounces backward in between.

 _I'm going to fucking kill his ass. Wait, MY women? Heh. He’s double dipping with these two? Way to fucking go, Billy Bob!_ Negan cocked an appreciative eyebrow at the bouncing thesaurus.

“Fucktard? It’s okay for you to disrespect them with your foul _palaver_ , but not me, you fucking hypocrite?” he kept his tone calm, even though his preference would have been to lay into the man with some serious fucking gusto.

“Hey! Did you hear me throw any expletives their way? No ya didn't! Yo no soy pendejo, compadre!" The Spanish rolled off the cowboy's tongue as if he'd spent years south of the border. "You ain’t a lady, so I can fucking spew my malediction at _you_ ‘til the fucking cows come home if I fucking want to, so fuck you, you fucking fucker!” Billy Bob jerked the leash once more to remind the bound man who was in charge. 

_Jesus, he's fucking bilingual?_

“It’s okay, Booger,” Casper reassured him softly, rolling forward to pat his chest with her empty hand, while the AR-15 tucked in her armpit remained pointed at Arat.

The man immediately calmed at her words and touch, his bouncing slowing as he lightened up on the rope around Negan’s neck. “Allraaght, but he better watch his daggum mouth!” Billy Bob gave the rope another small jerk to make his point.

_If he yanks this fucking rope one more time he's dead. Hell, I might just kill him even if he doesn’t. Booger? What the fuck kind of nickname is Booger?_

The fuckers were sneaky, he’d give them that. While Negan and his team were making their way around the store, Billy Bob and friends had captured all but two of his people and the leader and his team had been none the wiser. Negan couldn’t believe he didn’t hear sounds of a scuffle as it happened in the cavernous, silent store. These people must have worked in fucking stealth mode.

The Saviors were all gagged and tied together, lined up on the floor, sitting back to back, each hand roped to its corresponding thigh. This wasn't some cowboy, rope ‘em and tie ‘em shit. It was some kinky ass S&M bondage rope work, Negan ‘pondered’ as he caught sight of his people by the check out stations at the front of the store.

For once, Negan wasn’t sure how to proceed. He really wanted the goods in this virtually untapped store, but he and his three teammates still standing were definitely at a disadvantage since the rest of their group was incapacitated. _Fuck me._

“Look,” he started, turning to Caramel Casper. _What the fuck did the redneck say her name was?_ “ ...Thelma, we don’t want any trouble. We found your little haven here and just wanted to grab some supplies for our community. If you just untie me and my people, we’ll get the fuuu … we’ll get out of your hair. We’ll go.” He hadn't decided if he meant what the fuck he was saying. Probably not, but it sounded good.

Hopefully they’d be able take down these fucking freaks and make off with a good haul. Worst case scenario they’d only get away with their body parts intact. Ginger had her fingers a little too close to the fucking trigger of the RPG. She couldn’t be stupid enough to use it while they were all in such close proximity, or she and her pals would be fireblasted, too. At least he hoped she didn’t have a death wish. He looked around, taking inventory of his people on the floor. _Where the fuck are Keno and Pedro?_

“You’ll just go.” Ginger finally spoke up, questioning Negan’s sincerity. “Even though this place is loaded to the gills with stuff your people could use?” One corner of her bright red lips turned up into a smirk as she looked the leader up and down, winking at him to let him know she was on to his bullshit.

 _Ooh. I like ‘em fuckin’ sassy._ Negan winked right back at her with a smile, taking her off guard. She was cute under all her fucking lipstick, it’s bright as fuck red color accentuating her full lips. _I’ll bet they’d feel amazing wrapped around my ..._

“We ain’t loco, jefe,” Billy Bob interrupted the leader’s thoughts. “If we let you go, what’s ta say ya won’t come back with a bigger group and have at us?”

“Have at you?” Negan smirked at the man’s choice of words. “Good question, Booger.” He spoke calmly, throwing in the man’s name to create an intimacy they didn’t share. “But now that I’m thinking about it, it might be better for us to work out a deal. Maybe trade you for some of the stuff you don’t need.” This could work. He really didn’t want to take out two women. While he could bludgeon Billy Bob with Lucille all the fucking livelong, he didn’t like killing women. Especially ones who might be into sharing a little Negan love.

Ignoring Negan’s offer, the cowboy’s head suddenly whipped around, and he stopped bouncing for exactly four seconds, cocking his head to the side to listen for something. “Awww, fuck! What the hell did you assholes do? What’d we miss a couple of ya’?”

“Booger, what is it?” Thelma pressed him for information, the look on her face telling Negan she knew to be concerned about whatever the fuck the cowboy thought he heard.

“The storeroom,” the man revealed urgently. “It’s open!!”

“Son of a _bitch_!” Ginger gave their uninvited visitors a malicious glare as she took off, rolling down the row of check out stations, her eyes fixed on the back of the store. “We have to get our stuff!”

Negan and his crew watched as all three of their captors rocketed into action, heading in different directions down the main aisle at the front of the store. Billy Bob started to take off before he realized he’d forgotten something and bounced back to grab Negan’s leash so he could drag the leader along with him as he ran back and towards the center of the store. Booger may look stupid, Negan thought to himself, but the man knew he needed to keep his leverage in tow so he and his girls didn’t end up fucking toast against the twenty people who’d invaded their home. “ _You!_ Stay here!” he ordered Arat and the Joes as they started to follow, bouncing backwards to keep an eye on them as he held a gun out to the side of his shoulder, pointed at their boss’s head. “And do not touch my fuckin' rope!” He motioned to the people on the floor with his gun. “If I hear any commotion, or one strand a hemp is out of place when I git back, El Jefe here, is dead!”

“Do as he says,” Negan called calmly over his shoulder, marveling at how his captor could bounce just as easily and gracefully backwards as forward. Once they turned a corner into an aisle which would take them to the back of the store, the man spun himself forward, lowering the gun, and suddenly took off sprinting through a maze of shelving to an unknown destination, jerking his captive along with him. The leader stumbled along next to Billy Bob, struggling to keep his balance, from the combination of the leash being yanked every five seconds and not having his arms at his sides for stability.

 _Where the fuck are we going?_ The light from the windows at the front was fading away as they approached the center of he store, and it was slowly becoming impossible to see three feet in front of them. Cowpoke, however, seemed to know exactly where he was going and what he was looking for in the dark.

Trying to find a way out of his predicament, the boss thought about stopping short to throw the man’s balance off and see if he could gain control of the situation somehow, but the leash was securely wrapped around the man's hand several times, and the sudden stop would would only serve to tighten the noose on his own neck. With his hands tied, and no weapon, there was nothing to do but wait for a better opportunity, and be ready when it arrived. The fucker was quick, and the faster the cowboy moved, the less he bounced. Negan ran behind Hopalong, not having a choice to do otherwise, bemused as to why the fuck the man’s panties were twisted in such a huge fucking knot. Then he heard the familiar fucking hum.

The cowpoke stopped dead in his tracks when he reached the center aisle, pulled a flashlight off his belt and turned it on, concentrating the beam up the aisle towards the back of the dark store. “Well, fuck me in my tight little ass!” Booger cursed angrily as he and Negan laid eyes on a load of corpses, too numerous to count, pouring out of an unseen outlet on the back wall of the store and heading in their direction. “Who the fuck opened up them doors?”

The answer to the cowboy’s question suddenly ran out of the bedding aisle on their left, crossing the center aisle in front of them as Negan’s two missing men, Pedro and Keno hightailed it towards the front of the store. Pedro’s voice suddenly called out, “Keno, wait!” as the Latino popped his head back out from behind shelves on the right side of the aisle, to take in the cowboy and Negan, frowning at the sight of the leash around his boss’s neck.

“Oh, shit,” the man lamented, raising his Ruger and pointing it at his boss’s captor, as the ginger and Thelma came running up to them, sans rollerskates, the redhead pulling a huge flowered suitcase on wheels and a panting Thelma pulling a massive wheeled cooler with a duffel bag on top of it. They obviously had an escape plan, and had implemented it when they all went running in their different directions. Both women ignored Pedro’s gun, having more pressing matters to attend to.

Billy Bob bounced quickly from side to side, his head loosely bobbing on his neck, which seemed to be his response to any kind of stress or upset.

“We’re totally screwed!” Ginger announced as they watched the dead ones amble towards them in the beam of the flashlight.

Casper finally caught her breath from her sprint around the store crying out a panicked, “You don’t have Queen Banana Pants?!” at her counterparts.

“She wasn’t in the tv cabinet where I put her?” the redhead pressed, suddenly sounding panicked as well.

_What in the fuck are they talking about?_

“No!”

The two Saviors and their leader ping ponged their heads back and forth between the shrill discussion next to them and the roamers approaching them. “People! For fuck’s sake, get your shit together!” Negan tried to focus the threesome on the deadly mob which was now only eight rows of shelving away. _We need to get the fuck out of here._

Glaring at the leader for spewing malediction in the presence of his women, the cowboy lunged towards the leader, shoving him by the shoulder to turn him back toward the  front of the store. With a yank of the ropes binding the lead Savior’s hands and neck, the boss was suddenly freed. “I gotta go find the Queen! You best make sure my women get out of here right safe, fucktard!” He suddenly grinned amiably at Negan, giving him a wink and a pat on the chest before he shoved the leader’s own Barretta forcefully back into the front waistband of the boss's pants adding, “Just yank on the free end of the ropes to loosen up your minions!” He was gone then, running down one of the aisles to the side of the group, Lucille still in hand, in an attempt to keep some leverage with the invaders.

 _Fuck!_ “ _Move_ , people!” Negan yelled as he watched Billy Bob run off with the barbed bat. _I need my baby girl back._ He was almost tempted to take a shot at the bouncing bastard, but with the bodies getting closer he thought better of the idea and turned towards the checkout area. The group didn’t waste any time as they started to haul ass towards the front of the store, Negan, Pedro and Keno stopping only long enough to down a half dozen walkers in the front of the pack with a shot to the head, hoping those coming behind would trip over the bodies and slow the rest down.

“But, Booger!” Thelma cried, looking back over her shoulder in the direction the cowboy had run.

“He’ll be fine, darlin’. He obviously knows what the fu… what he’s doing,” Negan reassured her, shoving her forward as he tailed her. She was bringing up the rear, slower moving than the rest of them. He didn't know why he gave a flying fuck whether these women made it out of the store. Maybe he was driven by pleading  the look in Billy Bob’s eyes before the fucker smirked at him, ordering him to take care of the women.

After a minute of Thelma struggling as he prodded her along, he gave up on pushing and grabbed her hand, pulling her along with him, his long legs making their movement almost too fast for her short legs to manage as she pulled her cargo behind her.

“Snot!” Thelma shouted as Negan yanked on her hand, causing her to fall forward and lose her balance. Ginger looked back at them, concern on her face as she took in her friend.

 _Snot? Seriously?_ Feeling Thelma’s plight in the pull of his arm, Negan slowed down enough for her to right herself, the redhead turning forward again to speed up, only after she knew her friend was okay. Twenty feet ahead of the rest of the group, the ginger ran past the Joes and Arat and straight for the group of Saviors tied body to body on the floor, bending to grab each loose end of the several red ropes binding them, from the floor. She continued to run, the leader watching with fascination as the ropes went taut at the first person in the line and then began to unravel, snaking easily from around each person in turn in the line of Saviors on the floor as she passed by. His people popped up to their feet as their part of the rope loosened, like a human wave at a stadium sporting event, and they looked to Negan for guidance as the mob of dead ones came into view several aisles down.

“Get the fuck out of here!” he commanded as he approached them, the group starting to run towards the opening the Saviors had shot into the front doors with their automatic weapons.

“If you jerks hadn’t shot up the doors we could have kept them inside!” the redheaded one yelled at Negan once they were outside, shaking her head as she stopped to look back at the twenty foot deep vestibule between the inner and outside doors.

The big boss wasn’t listening, as he sprinted to one of the Savior's box trucks, jumping inside, starting the engine and putting it into drive in one seamless motion. Driving the vehicle back towards the store, he pulled it in front of the three broken doors which would provide an exit for the dead, just as they entered the vestibule. Scraping the side of the truck against the door’s framework with a jolt, he came to a stop, throwing the vehicle into park. It was only seconds before bodies slammed into the vehicle, rocking it with force.

When Negan jumped out of the truck, he made his way to the group, who had all moved downhill from the front of the store. Thelma and the ginger were holding hands as they watched the building for any sign of their friend.

“You know he had several routes out of the building mapped out the first day we got here,” the redhead reminded her friend, pulling the woman’s hand against her stomach as she talked. “Even these assholes, opening the gate to hell inside, won’t stop Booger and Queen Bee from getting back to us.”

“Booger?” Negan walked up to them smirking, inquiring about the cowpoke’s nickname, unaware the women had been criticising him and his people. “Where the hell did he get a nickname like Booger?” he asked calmly, his gaze following the women’s back toward the store.

“You know,” the ginger turned to him, not able to stop herself from grinning as she explained, “You think it’s a good idea to pick it, but then you can’t get rid of it, no matter how hard you try to flick it off your finger?” Her cohort giggled next to her, nodding her head as she continued her visual search. Even though they joked at the cowpoke's expense, it was obvious they were very distressed over the danger he'd put himself in.

Negan laughed out loud at the analogy, causing both women to smile widely with him, despite their current state of stress. They'd warmed up to the asshole in the leather jacket, since he'd made sure Thelma hadn't fallen behind as they tried to escape the corpses inside.

“I didn't catch your name, darlin’,” the boss looked the redhead, realizing he hadn’t heard anyone call her by name.

“Hey, boss” Regina interrupted the meet and greet, jerking her head in the direction of the store. It won’t be long until they figure out they can get underneath the truck to get at us.”

“Pull the Corvette up next to the truck,” Thelma advised her distractedly, not stopping her visual search of the exterior of the store as she pointed blindly to the low to the ground sports car parked beside one of the semi’s down the hill. “It’ll block their path. Keys are behind the visor.”

Negan nodded his head appreciatively at the idea, then nodded his approval to Regina, giving her the okay to follow the woman’s orders. He watched as his lieutenant jogged down the hill and got into the car starting it up and driving it up to park next to the truck, effectively blocking the dead ones’ escape route underneath.

Looking around the parking lot and at the two worried women standing next to him, Negan tried to decide if he should just cut his fucking losses, take his people and go, or if he should wait to see if Billy Bob was okay. Normally he’d say, “Fuck ‘em” and would go, but there two things keeping him from leaving.

First, the fucking desperate look in Booger’s eyes, hiding behind his wink when the man had told him to take the girls and run, compelled Negan to stay and see if the guy would make it out of the store. The leader had to admire the man for looking after the women before he disappeared into the fucking fray to look for God knows what.

If the store had been these people’s home, it probably would be the right thing to do to see if the women wanted to come back to the Sanctuary to live, with or without Booger. It would be the right thing to do, if he gave a flying fuck about doing the right thing. He just needed to decide if he gave a flying fuck.

For Negan, more important than Booger’s plea, was the fact the cowpoke had his Lucille. The big boss wasn’t going any-fucking-where without her. He was already feeling a little twitchy because she’d been out of his sight for more than thirty seconds, so there was no fucking way he’d leave her behind. As he mulled over Lucille’s plight, the sound of an engine revving filled the air to their left.

Thelma and her gal pal suddenly squealed in delight, startling Negan out of his own thoughts as they jumped up and down next to him. Following their gaze, he raised his eyebrows in surprise as a classic, late nineteen fifties convertible, pastel pink and cream Cadillac came roaring around the corner from the side of the store, top down, Booger behind the wheel. The car was a fucking beauty, fins and chrome shining in the sunlight. _How fucking appropriate_ . _Who the fuck drives around the apocalypse in a classic car?_

As the car drove closer, the leader realized there was a white Chihuahua sitting in the middle of the dashboard, looking out the window, a half inch of tongue sticking out of the front of its closed mouth. _Jesus Christ. You have got to be fucking kidding me. Is that a fucking yellow tutu on that mutt?_

Swinging the car in the boss’s direction, the cowboy pulled the driver’s side up next to Negan, reaching over to the passenger side to retrieve Lucille, who was sitting on the floor. He handed the barbed wire covered bat to the man in the leather jacket drawling, “I wouldn’t forget yer girl,” and then gave him a slow wink, this time as if they shared an intimate secret.

The mutt on the dashboard growled at Negan as he reached for the bat, trying to bark at the threat to one of her masters, but the thing only croaked instead. _What the fuck kind of bark is that, and how the fuck did he know Lucille is my girl?_

“I can tell by the way you cosset the thang, she's special to ya.” Booger then defined his choice of vocabulary, “You know, hold lovingly. Caress.”

“I fucking know what cossett means, Roget,” Negan snarked, referring to the thesaurus everyone had used for vocabulary reference before computers and smartphones took over the earth. He was giving the fucker a hard time, but he appreciated the fact the man had made sure Lucille gotten back to him. He’d actually breathed a sigh of relief when he’d spotted her on the floor of the car. “Nice ride, cowboy,” the leader admired the Cadillac, looking up and down the body of the car.

“Our getaway car,” Booger informed him before he was accosted by the women. “Thelma’s neighbor had a garage full a classics.” Thelma and the redhead had already jumped in the car with Booger, the redhead hugging him around the neck from the back seat, and Thelma kissing the side of his face from the front passenger seat while he talked with Negan. The cowpoke looked none too displeased with their show of affection.

“He used to take us for rides in them when we were kids,” the woman explained as if anyone gave a fuck, smiling at the big boss’s chin, instead of looking in his eyes.

“So what the fuck are we gon’ do now?” the cowboy asked him, his countenance changing from friendly to agitated at the drop of a hat, his body starting to bounce up and down on the seat as he accused, “Ya fucked up our brand new home. I didn’t have the chance to direct those dead bastards out the back door and into their permanent mass sarcophagus in the the quarry before your assholes let them out. And what the fuck is wrong with _you two_?” The cowpoke changed gears, turning to Keno and Pedro in the crowd on the other side of the car. “You boys must be dumber’n a box a hair, lettin’ those rotten bitches outta their kennel when the fuckin’ door had ‘Don’t open, dead inside’ spray painted on it!”

“Seriously?” Negan turned a hairy eyeball on Keno and Pedro, who at least had the decency to look sheepish. “What the fuck, guys?”

“We thought it was a diversion to keep people away from good stuff hidden in the stockroom!” Keno defended himself and his pal. “We didn’t hear anything when we listened at the doors because they were all at the back of the building! By the time we heard them in the storeroom, they were already on top of us. Once we got back out the doors into the store we didn’t have time to barricade them in again.”

“So, _Leader Man_ ,” Booger goaded Negan, “Ya’ll got an abode we can call home til we can git back here and clear those cadavers out? I mean, it’s the least y’all can do since you fucked up our casa, don’t ya think?”

The bossman wasn’t sure if he got a kick out of this guy, or whether he wanted to pummel him. Since he and the girls hadn’t hurt his people, despite the opportunity, he figured the three of them were no threat to his hundred plus people at the factory he called home, so why not?

“Sure thing, Booger!” he replied exuberantly, patronizing the man to put him in his place, then mocking him, “Y’all can just follow us on back there!” _And just maybe we’ll come back and clear all the good shit outta this here store while you’re relaxing at my fucking abode._

“Well that’s right neighborly of ya!” the cowpoke responded appreciatively, Negan’s attempts at goading the man, unsuccessful. Cowboy proceeded to hop out of the car, and grabbing the dog off the dashboard and tucking her under his arm, he bounced around in front of the big boss announcing, “Come on, Queen Bee! Yer gonna ride in the big rig with Booger!”

The dog glowered at Negan and croaked twice, baring its teeth at him and growling as Booger bounced by, heading towards the semi in the front of the line of trucks parked at the front of the shopping center’s property.

“What kind of sorry ass fucking bark is that?” the big boss questioned the dog’s owner. _Little bitch._

“You ain’t kiddin’ there, Leader Man,” Booger chuckled as he pet the dog lovingly. “Whoever owned her before the turn had her vocal cords snipped. Worked out in her favor, though, cause we can carry her into the middle of the dead in a backpack, and they can’t hear her barking over their own noise. Ain’t that raaaght, Banana Pants?” Billy Bob kept bouncing away from Negan as he rambled, restarting his Garth Brooks grunt fest. Reaching the cab of the truck, he opened the door and tossed the dog across the seat.

At the rear end of the car, the redhead snapped her fingers at Fat and Skinny Joe, who were standing close by and ordered, “Load these for me, boys?” before she turned and unlocked the trunk, deliberately walking between the two of them, slowing to run her fingers along both of their arms lightly as she passed. She thanked them with a sultry smile as she flipped her red hair off her shoulder with the back of one hand, leaving both men with a dazed, goofy grin in her wake. Taking off her fur coat, she tossed it into the back seat, revealing a black pencil skirt which flattered her slim figure. She wore with it a white, short sleeved button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up high on her arm, the top three buttons undone, showing off her deep cleavage and a double string of pearls. The outfit was cinched at the waste with a wide, bright red belt which matched her lipstick. She looked like she stepped out of the fifties, saddle shoes and bobby socks finishing off the outfit. _Where the fuck do you get saddle shoes at the end of days?_

“Come on, Thelma, let’s go!” she beckoned her girlfriend, who had turned to smile and wave to Booger. The cowboy was in the cab of the truck, holding the ridiculous mutt up to the window for her to see, planting several kisses on the side of its head. _What in the ever loving fuck is wrong with that man?_ Caramel Casper  blew him a kiss, then threw open the passenger side door with none of her friend’s grace, and crawled into the car, awkwardly trying to situate her long, sheer silky negligee and robe under her ample ass and giggling at her own struggle as she did. These two women couldn’t be more fucking different, but Negan found them both intriguing.

“You wanna ride with us?” The driver invited after catching him smirking at Thelma’s plight.

“Why the fu...why not?” Negan responded, wondering why the fuck he felt the need to follow Booger’s directive about foul language aimed towards the women. _Fuck him._ Jumping over the side of the car into the back seat, he yelled to his teams, “Saddle up people! Let’s get back to the fucking factory before the sun goes down!” He immediately felt better for having circumvented the redneck's language rule he felt, strangely, obliged to obey.

Booger pulled his truck forward onto the road leading out of the parking lot. He’d purposely parked a second semi next to the first one in the barricade’s line, so he could take off with it at a moment’s notice and not leave a hole in the blockade.

Why in the fuck the cowboy was driving a fucking tractor trailer was beyond Negan, since the thing would be unwieldy in this world where roads may blocked by traffic jams which had resulted when people panicked and tried to run to God knows where at the start of the apocalypse, but luckily the Saviors had cleared their path back home, so Billy Bob shouldn’t have any trouble.

Thelma turned around to Negan, obviously intent on talking to him, and the leader chuckled silently as she lost her nerve, closed her mouth and turned back around to face front. After a few moments and an almost audible inner pep talk, she turned around in her seat a second time with her brave face on, questioning him as the car started to move. “So what’s your name?” She heaved a breath of relief when she was done, obviously pleased with herself over her grand achievement. The boss couldn’t help but wonder how the fuck she’d lasted eighteen months in their fucked up world, as meek as she was.

He was amused, once again, when she was not able to look him in the eye for more than two seconds after she spoke. In the light of day he could see the light brown color of her almond shaped eyes. Between the shape and color of her eyes, and her light ebony skin, she was a beautiful mix of dark and light races.

“I’m Negan,” he informed her, leaning back against the middle of the back seat as he looked the woman over, knees spread, Lucille leaning against his thigh next to him, her barbed tip on the floor. He kept his close hand on her, rubbing her with his thumb, feeling a little protective of his girl after having been involuntarily separated from her. “And you’re Thelma,” he continued, glancing up from his bat to catch the driver scrutinizing him in the rearview mirror. Shifting his gaze to the driver’s eyes in the rearview mirror he inquired, “What’s your name darlin’?”

“Louise,” was her simple response. Negan’s eyes snapped up to watch as the woman's right arm suddenly rocketed straight up in the air over the middle of the front seat, her hand meeting Thelma’s and clasping it in the air as they lead the caravan down the road.

Booger grinned from ear to ear in the cab of the truck behind them as he heard his women yell a hearty, “Wooooo hooooo!” as they flew down the road, hands high in the air. Queen Banana Pants graced the dash once more, with a half inch of tongue hanging out of the front of her mouth.

 


End file.
